life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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