My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
