You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize