if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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