I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize