His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
