GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
