so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
