I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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