At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize