sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
