Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
