My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
