just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So much rum. So many feels.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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