So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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