Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
