i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my shit smells like andre
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
