i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
pray to the hookup gods
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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