Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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