I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
