Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
