Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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