we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
