she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
