Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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