AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
