I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize