Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
