My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
soo... how was my night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize