part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
