I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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