good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
