and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
