Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
