If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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