I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
