on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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