I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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