It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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