What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is her dick bigger than yours?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
