At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
