I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
