And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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