ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
