I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
