WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We are all done wearing pants today
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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