I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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