i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
