what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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