So drunk its hurt
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
