I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
