We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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