Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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