Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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