i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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