before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
