Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize