let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
