That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
