why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
