i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
