things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
