I think my fart just growled at me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize