what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
