Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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