Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
