that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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