it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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