they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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