He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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