I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize